Community, clear direction, pride in a higher common purpose, and the necessity of important conversations about life and death in the service of a greater cause: There are many similarities between the work of an officer and family ownership.
That’s why we sat down with Kim Kristensen to hear from a man who has decades of experience with both. Kim Kristensen was named Leader of the Year in 2009 by the Danish organisation “Lederne” and is the author of the Leadership Book of the Year “Follow Me” in 2015. His well-trained instinct for practical management from over 50 years in war, diplomacy, business, government, foundations, art and culture, and not least for advising highly exposed families for more than 20 years, gives him ballast when advising on family ownership.
Kim, in your book “Follow Me” you discuss the importance of being able to lead and daring to take ‘ultimate leadership’. In family ownership, it is all about consensus building, how can you reconcile both, for example, in the family business?
“I believe that the ultimate leadership is about the leader seeing themselves first and foremost as a coach who does everything to get everyone on board. A coach involves the team in the big decisions and makes sure that the individual is put into play right where they can perform best with the greatest motivation and passion. The same is true in families. It’s about developing the skills to engage, share information and respect each other.”
Having a clear purpose creates pride and belonging. We know this from many companies, organisations, etc. How can you replicate this effect in family ownership?
“Everyone has goals, and that is great, but it’s purpose that binds a team or family together. The overall purpose is something to be proud of, excited about and gather around. Especially when crises hit. You need to be able to lean on purpose, hold on tight, find peace and harmony and steer the ship safely back to port. For me, it is crucial to be able to answer the basic question: ‘What’s the point – what is it really all about?’ When we can answer that, we are also ready to decide what it is we want, what we can and what we do.”
A classic challenge in family ownership is when someone has to ‘follow me’, i.e., allow themselves to be led, by their siblings, sibling’s partners or others who do not, in principle, have a higher ‘rank’ than oneself. How do you deal with the fact that your younger brother has the most stripes on his shoulder?
“There is no doubt that this situation can easily give rise to jealousy and misunderstandings. Obviously, this can be a challenge, and a good process needs to be carried out – calmly and carefully, with sensitivity for everyone involved. It is a good idea to start these conversations early, so you can practice the different scenarios and be one step ahead – in both thought and action – to avoid conflict within the family.
It needs to be made clear that, in principle, roles can be created for everyone, meaning that all siblings should be able to see themselves in the future that is now opening up – even with a younger sister or brother at the helm. Good governance is quite useful here, with everyone being able to contribute to the various forums of the ownership, such as the family council, the owner council, the foundation or various boards. And I also want to draw your attention back to the purpose. When you agree on the direction and common goals, you learn to make your own position less important in the big picture. It will be the community that counts. Family is not – and must not be – an individual achievement, but rather a team effort.”
You’ve been working with the next generation for decades. What are your best tips for leading young people in a way that creates community and motivation?
“It is a special skill to be able to let go of the steering wheel AND the gear stick, allowing the next generation to take over. In my experience, it’s about being able to:
- Listen more than you speak
- Be curious and appreciative of young people and the way they approach tasks
- Let them go Let them make mistakes No one is perfect
- Be the good example who is genuinely excited to pass on knowledge and experience
- Take responsibility for the next generation by offering them coaching, training and support
- Strengthen the family in everything possible”
With family-owned wealth, you are in a community with others relating to your work. But you also need to be able to stand by your own opinions and ambitions. What are your best tips for “Be Yourself” that you recommend in your book?
“For many people, just being at peace with themselves – and thus authentically being themselves – requires a lot of hard work, self-awareness, maturity and self-confidence. It is lifelong learning – but a learning that is exciting when you choose to go that path.Artificial leaders are not followed – especially not during crises – so being authentic and recognisable to everyone is a crucial part of what you do for yourself and those around you. As mentioned, it may require you to be interested in investing in yourself, openly and honestly, and accept that it takes time and experience to be yourself. Especially in a situation with family-owned wealth.”
We are pleased to announce that Kim Kristensen has joined the Harbour Family Governance advisory team as a Trusted Family Advisor. Contact us here to learn more about consulting for family-owned wealth.
