May the force be with you
We are sticking with the movie quotes, albeit in a different genre. Wealth in itself contains a great force. A fortune – or a front row seat thereto – provides access to opportunities, experiences, joy, meaningfulness, time and self-fulfillment. As a partner or spouse of a wealthy individual, it can be a joy to be part of this journey, but it also comes with its own challenges. We have outlined the five most common issues that both parties can benefit from paying attention to.
1. The daily bread
If you haven’t earned or inherited the wealth that underpins your family’s prosperity and everyday life, it can be difficult to enjoy it without feeling a murmur of uncertainty. The partner of the wealthy person may, over time, get used to having shared funds available, but in many cases, the partner may not find it as natural to use the funds, especially if he/she grew up in more modest circumstances. You may want to set up both joint and individual accounts that automatically receive monthly payments. This way, one’s partner can manage their own finances and have some privacy around their spending, without having to ask for funds.
2. So close and yet so far
In the majority of wealthy families, a prenup is the rule rather than the exception. Furthermore, it will typically only be the owners/family members who meet in owner councils or boards. All of this is logical and sensible, but it can be just as sensible to talk about how your partner can gain influence and a role in the ownership if they want it. There are several obvious areas where you can/should involve partners in the ownership, developing the next generation for ownership, the family foundation or philanthropy, the family’s strategic considerations around long-term ownership, developing a family constitution, drafting wills and future powers of attorney, family meetings, etc.
3. Family first?
If you have grown up in a situation involving family-owned wealth, you are used to many facets of your life revolving around the family’s work, family gatherings, family name, family expectations and family moods. For your partner, it can be overwhelming to become part of a clan where there are expectations of everyone – including in-laws. For this reason, try to have some honest conversations about what role the family should play in your life, how often you should go on family vacations and to what extent and how much you will be there when it is expected. There is no fixed recipe, and you will find yourselves deviating from your agreements, but this conversation is still important to ensure respect for one another’s boundaries.
4. It is the thought that counts
As partners with different backgrounds and financial capabilities, you’ll never be completely equal – in financial terms. While one partner is looking forward to receiving his average salary, the other partner will have earned 100 times as much on his/her investments in the same period. Where one can show their love with a home-cooked dinner, the other can book a private jet to a suite in the Seychelles for family holiday. Comparisons are the root of all evil, so remember that it’s the thought that counts, not the price.
5. Clear agreements are pure romance
As in many other aspects of family ownership, many conflicts can be avoided by sitting down together and making clear agreements with good humour, empathy and insight. What happens if one of you passes away or you break up? Who owns what? How should you handle the issue of assets with children, friends and extended family? How much and when should the next generation be developed to manage wealth? There are many issues where you and your partner can make joint statements of principle, so you can then put them aside and just live your life – together.
For more inspiration, read more here or contact us to have a conversation about good dynamics in a wealthy context.
